We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
