woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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