haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
