So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
