Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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