oh god the rape fog is back!
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize