if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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