I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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