i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
