This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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