i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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