I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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