If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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