Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
