I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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