erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
