I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Come share oat with me in your robe
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
