i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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