at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
