In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
