i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
