Have you finally orgasmed yet?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
