it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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