Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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