Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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