I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
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