just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
