my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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