Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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