she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
