sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
