I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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