I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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