I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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