Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
