Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize