you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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