I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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