New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
