I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
