Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
