yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
