So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
