No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
These tits shall not be calmed
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
