That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
