He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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