you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
