Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
