I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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