no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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