I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
