I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
zippers are such a cool invention
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
