Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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