I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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