Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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