Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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