You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize