NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
