I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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