is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
