You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
