She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
